I remembered how he would call my parents at late hours, taunting them and telling them the secret I so struggled to hide. If it was not for my best girl friend at that time I might have not been sitting here today, for she was the only person that hid the reality of my sexual nature. I remembered the days when he would tell my friends stories and call me slut. The hurt I felt after losing them. How he would constantly call me and text me just to kick me whilst I was down.
The pain of my past was a null void of darkness that engulfed me during a suppose-to-be happy moment. However, with a great struggle I washed aside the waste of my past and focused on Jaygé’s words as he took to the floor.
After the speech had ended and the food was being served I so desperately, secretly yearned for his loving hugs and words of promise, words that swore everything would be okay. Yet, he was encompassed by the rest of the world. It was something I could to take from him. It was his moment to shine, the moment that was his own dream, being fulfilled. Instead I started to approach the very man I did not liked very much, a man by the name of Rudi Fourie.
He was seated at the end of my table, he had received a Teerpad novel, and it was Jaygé’s way of saying thanks to him for traveling from Johannesburg to attend his book launch. Even if I didn’t appreciate this person’s individuality, I had to admit that he had to be a really good friend to travel from Johannesburg to Cape Town in order to attend a book launch. “Hey,” was the only worlds my creative mind could seem to initiate.
“Hello,” he said with an absent minded smile.
After the salutations of friendship that had failed to exist before, I had somehow found a small pinch of comfort. Perhaps, because I had found someone to talk to, perhaps it was because I had met a good friend that was just an acquaintance then.
However, as I sat there that day and spoke with Rudi Fourie I realized that I had judged him too soon and that he was actually a very good person. A man that has suffered great pain and loss, he was truly a man that I found great similarities in.
As I shared the story that I had just relived I felt the void recede back into oblivion, Rudi’s words had somehow stolen away the void and I knew that he had took it with him that day and hid it in the small box that he stored all his pains. The air seemed breathable again and my foggy vision seemed to clear up. Somehow I had managed to find comfort in the words of a stranger, and simultaneously came to a sudden realization of great truth, an epiphany as most would call it. Maybe, we all needed to judge less and appreciate more. Maybe, we ought to stop pushing people away because of their appearances or personality if we do not know them. What if that person you are pushing away today could be carrying the box that will take away the void that still haunts you?
Then I felt it, a hand was pulling me back to reality, a soft and warm hand on my shoulder. It was a familiar touch, one I had not felt too long ago. After bracing myself I slowly turned to face the person that…
